Tuesday, December 21, 2004

I Said MERRY CHRISTMAS, Godammit!

This is starting to really drive me crazy. Remember when we celebrated Christmas without worrying about whether it was Christmas enough? The people who want to make an issue of the "Happy Holidays" scandal (and the rise in sodomy and drug abuse that such a decadent phrase is clearly evidence of) obviously (1) have all their shopping done already, and (2) are a bunch of fucking morons. Now, let's be clear-- personally, I prefer Merry Christmas to any of the more inclusive phrases. I think saying Happy Holidays is a little disingenuous in the sense that what most people mean when they say that is "Merry Christmas, except you might be Jewish, so, uh, happy whatever you are having." It's kind of silly. And I don't think a person who is Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, or atheist should get offended if someone messes up and wishes them a merry holiday of a type they don't celebrate (or vice versa if a Muslim wishes a Christian Happy Ramadan-- that's a random example, since I have no idea if "Happy Ramadan" is the sort of thing a Muslim would actually say...work with me here).

All that being said, however, if a company or individual WANTS to use an inclusive phrase, and does not want to make it seem like they are saying "observe my lord and savior's birth or rot in hell," then how on earth can someone really have an issue with that? I mean, there are other holidays out there at roughly the same time of year-- including, even if you don't want to foray into other religions or quasi-faiths, New Year's-- so it's not like it's dishonest to throw a few extra into the mix. I think this sort of movement-- which Jon Stewart calls the "anger of the enfranchised"-- is of a piece with both the American cult of victimhood (now embraced even by so-called conservatives) and the right wing post-electoral orgasm of "It's our country now, byatches!!!!!!!!!"

Whatever else it is, it just ain't very Christmasy, is it?

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